What Prompted This Story, Well I'll Tell You

I hate the word "died". I prefer "past over". Past over into a better place, where there is no tears, fears or pain. Only laughter and happiness. Happiness ever after!

As far back as I can remember there was only two of us, my sister and myself. But once upon a time there were three. We had an older sister. She was 8 years old when she past away. My Mother never really got over it and somewhere along the way she had a full blown nervous break down, because she thought that she was responsible. Her name was Elaine, she had, ( I'm not sure how to spell it but you'll get the just of it), Strip throat. She wouldn't eat or drink, but my Mother thought if she would keep taking the medicine she would get well, so she kept giving it to her. Sulfa, was a new drug back then and she didn't know you had to drink fluids with it. Hence, medicine + no liquids = crytallized kidneys. She died .

My Mother recovered , pulled herself together to raise the two that were left, and if I may say so myself, she did a pretty good job. But with a little piece of her heart missing that no surgeon could ever mend. ------Think about it eight years of careing and protecting. Eight years of loving. I can not begin to imagine. My children are grown and that is still the one thing that I fear the most. I try to keep in mind a article that I read once that go's something like this.

Why do we cry for a child when they die, they are not ours to keep. They belong to God who allows us to care for them until he's ready, to take them home.


What prompted this story well I'll tell you---I read a friends blog today and I cryed. She lost her own baby about a year ago. I remembered how much she loved that baby long before she was born and how important it was to pick the perfect name and how exited I was for her and how she glowed just thinking about having her.

To that friend I'ed like to say , right now I wish you were little so that I could put you on my lap and hug all the hurt away. But you're not and I can't so I'll just pray for you instead. And although I know (better than some) that , that part of your heart will always hurt, you have a big beautiful heart. So keep on keeping on. You can do it.