REALIZING THAT I AM OLD

There is an old lady that peers at me everytime I walk pass the mirror, so I walk pass the mirror as little as possible.
There are a lot of things that I really like about becoming older but unfortunately my looks are not one of them.
My face is droopy and wrinkled from tears I've shed and the hard times that I've seen. My body is, (if I do say so myself) not bad for an old gal, if you walked behind me you might not know that I was as old as I am, that is (haha) until I turned around. It would kind of be like the guy that sees this really great body in a pair of tight fitting jeans walking in front of him and can't wait to see the face, only to suffer the disappointment of finding out that when the body turns around it's a guy with a beard. Yuk, run the other way fast.

I don't like being called senile just because I'm forgetful, because I've been forgetful all my life. I don't go dancing anymore, makes me a little sad, because I love to dance but I try to remember my place in the world of the young.
I don't like it when younger people think we don't understand because what younger people don't understand is that we've been there too. Everything that you are doing, I've already done. So put that in you pipe and smoke it,opps I've done that too, ahh.

What I do like about becoming older is the reality that I found a new person from within that I like very much. The realization that if you love yourself you will find a kind of inner peace and to realize that you are never to old to try new things is a new found freedom that only comes with age.
The inhibitions of being shy, nervous, embarrassed or feeling foolish seem to disappear with age. Foolish ah, that is where you can use the word senile to your advantage.

I began writing poetry again and reading. I never had time to read a book just for the sake of reading and I love it. There is nothing nicer then having the time to cuddle up in a favorite chair cozy and warm knowing that on the other side of that wall there is ice on the ground while you are falling into another world with a good book. Simple pleasures that some people always take the time to do, I never had time for until I was older.

Age does have some benefits. I don't try to please for the sake of pleasing. I don't make up excuses for not wanting to go somewhere. If I don't want to go and am asked why, I simply say because I don't want to. I only associate with people I care about and I don't hang around with people I don't like just to be accepted or part of the group. I don't have time for phonies and if I have something to say I spit it out. Tactfully when possible, but if necessary, well let me put it this way, if the shoe fits I might make you wear it.
Now don't get me wrong here I don't go around trying to hurt peoples feelings, in fact I will avoid it at all costs but if you ask me for the truth and you keep persisting, you will get it.

Being young certainly has it's benefits, but being old does too. I don't consider reminiscing a bad or sad thing and so this morning I digressed back to a time when I was younger. I took my grandson to school and it was very cold this morning and as I was leaving the parking lot I noticed all of these teenagers running around with frost on the ground in their little shirts and blouses and most of them did'nt even have a light weight jacket on let alone a heavy coat and I thought to myself (self I said), do they want to show there cloths off that badly or are they just stupid. Oh excuse me I forgot it's not the in thing to do here these days only the nerds here wear a big heavy coat and a hat and for Gods sake never under any a circumstances do the scarf around the neck thing, that will make you the nerd of all nerds.

When I think about nerdy, I remember this young guy that used to come into the pizza place I managed he was a kind of a loner I don't think it was by choice he was just considered the local nerd back then. He always wore a heavy coat in the winter and a hat and sometimes even the unforgivable scarf around the neck. He was quiet spoken and very polite and I always tried to treat him special, because I knew he was. Of course in this day and age everyone wants to go to college, the guys in the in crowd as well as my nerdy friend. But while they were partying, he had his head in the books and while most of them were accepted into the local college here, it did my heart good to hear that he had been accepted into Harvard, but he turned it down, his Dad had been sick and he didn't want to put the extra strain or expenses on his family, but he did go on to college here.
You know I'd love to run into him now as a man. I have found in the past that the people who were nerds, or ugly, or were to this or to that for the the in crowd ususally are the ones that turned out looking better and doing well in life and the good looking jock ended up potbellied and bald.

And if anyone very young happens upon this post and has ever shunned what they call a nerd, remember this -- 'Bruce Springsteen' was a nerd in high school. Don't you wish you had his fame and fortune.