Monday, February 18, 2008

IT'S OVER , STILL I VENT

My grandson is in the 10th grade now, but still something bothers me and I sure could use the opinion of a English teacher right now.

Some of you may remember the essay my grandson wrote last year for his English class when he was in the ninth grade. He had just turned fifteen and he was pretty excited about it because this time they got to pick anything they wanted and apparently he had something on his mind that he wanted to get out so he used this opportunity to put it on paper. When he was finished he asked me to read it and I was so very impressed I decided to share it and so I posted it.

Some of you asked me to let you know what his grade was when he received it, well at the time I couldn't. This teacher always kept their papers for weeks and sometime months and many times the students couldn't find out what their grades were until progress reports or report cards came out. On the occasions when I would ask my grandson about it, he would say he asked her but she would reply she hadn't had time to grade them yet.

I'm posting his essay here again, with the second half in red only because I don't know how to make a big fat ' X ' across the whole bottom half of the essay.
He received his paper and the grade on it a day or two before report cards came out, he brought it home along with a ton of old assignments that the students hadn't seen in months.

My grandson received a ' D ' for that essay and the paper had a huge ' X ' across the whole bottom part of it. She didn't count the whole bottom half, it was unacceptable.

Finally he spoke up and asked her why? What was wrong with it?
Her reply was, " You don't have the right to try to make people think like you do.

So here it is once again, please tell me what you think, especially about the part in red.


Genocide: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

By XXXX XXXXXX

History, it seems, has a tendency to repeat itself. Genocide is the mass extermination or discrimination against an entire group of people based on ethnicity , religion, or political beliefs. The earliest form of a genocide can be seen in the bible when the Egyptians enslaved the Jewish people. The first major publicized was during WWI when the Turkish government, killed over two million Armenians and over one million Greeks. Then during the 1930’s and 40’s, a mass extermination of millions of Jews, prisoners of war , and any and all people deemed as “unwanted” by fascist Germany during WWII. Then during the 90’s, the Serbian government killed eight thousand male Bosnians. Today, millions of dafurian people are being slaughtered

The Point to get across is the fact that some people will omit any accusations that a genocide happened. Like today’s neo Nazis who deny that the Holocaust ever happened, Turkey denies any part in the genocide during world war one. Serbia denied ever killing those eight thousand male Bosnians. So it would come as no surprise that Sudan denies having ever done anything to the Dafur people.

When you turn on the T.V today, you see only the wars in Iraq, the war on terror, or how the stock market was down a few meaningless numbers. What you do not see is the men, women, and children that are being killed today in the dafur region. Haile Selassie once said that “Through out history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted, the indifference of those who should have known better, the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph.” We owe it to ourselves and for the sake of all that is good and great in this country, to tell the government of the United States to act now and declare a war on the true ‘Terror’.

Now close your eyes for a second here. Imagine you are just a simple everyday person, except for one thing. You are starving because your government denies your ability to buy food. Now imagine you are a woman who has been raped, yet you can do nothing because the police are against you. Now imagine you are a child, a child that walks alone because your parents were slaughtered by the government and there bodies burned so you can not give them a proper burial. Now imagine you are a refuge from dafur, just arrived in America, ready to finally have peace. But, you can never have any peace because of the nightmares that linger on, the screams of terror and pain, the smell of burning flesh, the cries of the children who are dying. Most of all, you can never have peace because the people in the city you are in are oblivious to what is going on in your homeland. You would never have peace because you would feel it is your duty to let it be known what is happening, for all those who never made it. For those who were born and killed in a world so cold and unjust.

So do not deny, and do not forget. History has told us before to be alert, to never allow for deaths of millions to happen again, yet we still do. Genocide still happens today, and I believe we should let history be history, and never let it predict our futures. And above all, do not let one death be a tragedy and a death of a million just be a statistic.

I'm posting it here again because, I need some opinions.

Excuse me, am I crazy? Is asking someone to imagine a situation so that they can get the full impact of the story imposing your will on them.

Is asking someone to imagine what you are describing so that they can mentally visualize what these people are going through, imposing your will on them?

Is asking someone to imagine, the same as asking them to agree with you or to have the same opinion as you?

I don't think so.

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, Asking someone to imagine something is asking them to visualize something in their head. To try to get a picture or idea of what you are talking about or describing..It is not asking someone to agree with your idea's or your views/opinions.....

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry can't get into blog had to leave comment as anny.....theblonebrunette.

8:23 AM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

I know that BB. I would have expected her to grade it based on improper grammar or misspelling or just about anything except imposing his will on others. But then you and I both know that no matter what he did in her class he wasn't going to get anything more then a 'D' for what reason, I don't know.

With all those 'D's' I'm shocked that she passed him with a 'C', so for that I'm thankful. And it's finally over.

1:45 PM  
Blogger The T-Dude said...

Teachers like that aren't teachers, they are dictators. I had an advanced composition teacher that wanted the entire class to write like Jack London. I hate Jack London. I wanted to write like Hemingway, like Heller, and he and I banged heads nearly every day.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That teacher has issues. You need to fight it.

What the.......

2:35 AM  
Blogger Sister Copinherhair said...

When you are writing for fun, like we do in our blogs, you can write in any style you like but I remember it being kind of tricky writing English papers. Each teacher prefers a different style and I do remember having to write "factual" and not with opinion.

It was a great paper. He just needs to master the art of writing for teachers. You have to learn what they are looking for. Perhaps next time, he can blatantly ask if he can interject a little opinion or if he has to stick to the facts.

6:02 AM  
Blogger anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

Awesome paper. i guess the teacher needed sumthin else.tell him a blog buddy thinks he is a genius.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Id it is said...

That comment madeno sense given that the essay was titled "Genocide - Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow"!
That was no imposition; merely asking the reader to transpose himself into a different scenario provided by the writer to make for empathy! I have no idea what this teacher was looking for in the essay. As a parent I would ask to see the rubric by which the essay was graded.

2:14 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

The T-Dude,
A yes Hemingway, now that would have been nice. I love his style.

4:59 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Pamela,
I have to agree, I think she did too.

5:00 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Damsel Underdressed,
Yes you're right, there are times when teachers set certain guidelines that you must go by, but I don't think this was the case here.

5:06 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Anonymous Gal,
Thanks, I'll tell him. He'll blush, he's pretty modest. He doesn't think of his self as especially smart just knowledgeable. He absorbs things like a sponge and never forgets.

5:11 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Id it is,
To late for that now, but I can just about guarantee you that nothing would have been done about it. This is a really small town.

Many people talked about how unfair she was before my grandson had her and still complain about her.
My grandson doesn't have to worry
about her anymore he is in 10th grade now.

I have to agree with Pamela, the teacher seems to have issues, she seems to do this with any student that is a little advanced in knowledge or creativity. The smartest students in her class always get the worst grades. It's almost like she tries to break their spirit. Strange, very strange.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

It is a very timely piece, and passionately written. If it was a free form piece it seems that it is within the guidelines. This teacher seems to be unable to separate her job from her personal feelings. Are there other English teacher's in the school? I would talk with them about getting someone else to grade it since his existing teacher seems unable to handle the job. Or at least talk with the counselor or principal about getting another assessment. You may also suggest that your grandson do a follow up piece (or be granted ability to do a replacement piece) then he can write about our constitutional rights as Americans to express ourselves in the form of free speech.
Please keep up updated.

10:03 AM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Shannon,
I can't do anything about it now. This happened last year and he is now in the 10th grade at the high school. But it really tempts me to want to give it to a high school teacher and not tell them that it was written by a Junior. high school student and ask them what they think of it but at the time that it happened I thought she would make it that much harder on him if I interfered.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Jinta said...

ok, so i'm guessing here...

the paper was very well written, however, i do get a niggling feeling that what the teacher wanted was a balanced argument, some objectivity. if that was the case though, why not tell the lad?

2:13 PM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Jinta,
exactly,why not. I don't think she gave any guidelines at all because he said he had to do a paper do the next day on anything they wanted to do and he was very excited about it, because he wanted to write about this. In fact I remember him saying I know exactly what I want to write about.

5:44 PM  
Blogger How do we know said...

your grandson's teacher is a DUD and has no business educating children if she cannot accept excellence for what it is. tell your grandson he should be proud of his work, the D be damned. I am, at the moment, so very angry at that teacher that i could insist on her removal from everything to do with education and post her to Iraq so she might view this essay in a new light. She needs to get out of her current zone. Wish she had the ability of this child - to understand and identify with suffering without actually having gone through it.

11:21 PM  
Blogger Nabeel said...

the teacher is dumb and shouldn't be a teacher. what he said was the most stupid thing a teacher can say. One has every damn right to do that .. not implying that your grandson meant to do that.

remember this, your grandson is at an age where he shapes his thinking, mentality etc. bad teachers leave a mark. you should show your concern to the principal and you must make the teacher apologize. if the principal doesn't agree with you .. then it's not a good school.

Teachers are everything when it comes to education. Good teachers make good students and eventually successful students.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Nabeel said...

as far as the paper is concerned, it's ok ..i really liked the title though. Very clever.

By the way .. he should quote where needed, otherwise it is wrong.

it was Stalin who said "one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic"

9:53 AM  
Blogger AVIANA said...

WoW....

"you don't have the right to..."

what!

This is what is in our schools. This is who we are voting for in office. this is who is deciding how we should live our lives.

this is who...

I'm sorry I can't say more because I am extremely upset.....

4:09 PM  
Blogger Is it sync'd yet? said...

Ok to start off with lets assume that the teacher is not a total gimp.

Second, and I am not judging here, should have made a call the very next day to this person. Reguardless of the end of the year and had a little one on one to figure out how this paper was a "D".

Third, you son should have put her on spot as well. Please explain why this is graded this way. How should have it have been delivered differently?

All of that out of the way if there was not good reason for this grade I would think that she viewed this as an opinion piece when a something else might have been asked for. Grades can be ammended after that fact if just cause is found and changed...even after the issue is over by her boss. I have seen it done.


Great little essay to say the least by anyone let alone by a middle schooler.


Gnat.
.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

Whoa! Like I said a billion times, I HATE ENGLISH TEACHERS!! They are tyrants with a degree and a pencil. It's all about relationships and knowing what your teacher wants to hear, maybe she's a neo nazi, lol.

7:53 AM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

How do we know,
Amen to that.



Nabeel,

I agree with you, but unfortunately this is a very, very small town. To be a teacher here is not based onhow good you are, it's based on who you know.
You are so very right I expected the paper to be graded on things like incorrect grammar or punctuation.




AVIANA,
yes I was too, very upset.




Gnat of Glass,
It was a free will essay. Write about anything you want.I expected it to be graded for written errors, grammar and such.

My grandson did question her about it and asked her what was wrong with it, the only answer she could think of to give him was, "He didn't have the right to try to make everyone think like he did. hmm




Becky,
Well we'll see. It's a new year, a new grade and a different teacher and he just had to do a group of several different types of of poems.

12:19 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker