Wednesday, November 29, 2006

DID YOU TRY TO LICK YOUR ELBOW ?

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was
allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence, we have "the rule of thumb!"
-------------------------------------------

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden"...
Thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
-------------------------------------------
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
-------------------------------------------
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.
-------------------------------------------
Men can read smaller print than women can;
women can hear better.
-------------------------------------------
Coca-Cola was originally green.
-------------------------------------------
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
-------------------------------------------
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The average number of people airborne over the U.S.
in any given hour: 61,000
--------------------------------------------------------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents
a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
----------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
----------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg
in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on
August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day
of the year?
A. Father's Day
----------------------------------------------------------------------
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames
by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that
for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply
his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a
honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,
this period was called the honey month, which we know today
as the honeymoon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
"Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked
into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the
phrase inspired by this practice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't scroll past this just because it looks weird.
Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid!
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Friday, November 24, 2006

MEET FINNEGAN

Denial


















Instinct


















Curiosity


















Acceptance


















Love
















Finnegan will be released in the wild soon.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

THE FIRST THANKSGIVING

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

Did you ever wonder what the colonists and the Wampanoag Indians ate at the very first Thanksgiving dinner?

You can read about it here: 'First Thanksgiving'.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

POVERTY

In this world that has so much
I've tried to understand,

Why some seem to have so much
And others must hold out their hand,

To beg a little crust of bread
To cry the whole night through

To toil in the noon days sun
So hopelessly and cruel.

To bear the burden of poverty
Is certainly no shame,

As long as you hold your head up high
And bear it with a grin.

To stand amongst the tallest of tall
To be the straightest of straight.

To abide your life by the golden rule
And you will know your fate.

So keep the warmth within your heart
And share your crust of bread,

And wear your poverty with great pride,
For it's the crown, upon your head.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

THOUGHT PROVOKING COMMENTS

Thanks to Becky for e-mailing this to me. I'd like to share it with you.

Written by Ben Stein - verified by Snopes

This makes a lot of sense to me and I'm neither afraid nor shamed to forward this because they are exactly my sentiments.

If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

Herewith a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards .. honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

Sunday, November 05, 2006

SWEET REVENGE

Sometime when you are young you think revenge can feel so good. But what happens when the revenge goes bad and you feel sorry for the person suffering?

I was very young at the time and my sister who was 5yrs older then me had to babysit me all summer long, as both my Mother and Father had to work. So being left at the mercy of my big sister was a daily chore. Not for me, for her.
But looking back on it I realize that she was very responsible and took very good care of me, in spite of the fact that she could have been having fun with her friends had it not been for my existence.
It wasn't all bad for her. Her best friend lived next door so she did have someone to visit with. She resented me terribly for trying to hear all of their secrets and I resented her for being able to tell me what I could and could not do. Oh if I could only get back at you, you bossy witch.

In her adolescent years she developed the dreaded acne that so many of us fear. Yes, her early teen years were very cruel to her, she was always fighting the fight of the dreaded blackheads and pimples.

My Mother bought every remedy she could think of, but nothing seemed to really help. Then she found a home remedy to try. I can't remember where she got it. Anyway on her day off she was going to try it on my sister.

The big day came, finally it was the weekend and my sister was so excited over the prospect of trying something new. Something that just might help, rather cover up the problem.

So Mom started reading this recipe for beauty. One part this and one part that, mix together and apply to the face, leave on for 10 minutes to dry, then rinse off.

I don't recall all of the ingredients but I do remember that one of them was several egg whites whipped and I think a tiny bit of soap along with a couple of other ingredients. It made what women call a face mask or beauty mask. The egg whites were suppose to draw out the black heads and impurities and along with all of the other ingredients when washed off, leave the face smooth and radiant.
So Mother got right to work mixing up this concoction, then she smeared a nice thick layer all over my sisters face and under her chin, leaving alone only the eyes nostrils and mouth. Mom told her she wouldn't be able to talk or she would crack the mask as it was drying. Then we all waited for it to do it's work.

Keep in mind at this time I wasn't thinking revenge, but as time went on the story unfolds.

In a couple of minutes the mask hadn't dried yet, five, six minutes went by and Mom asked could she feel it drawing. I heard a faint , 'oooo' sound come from over her gums and through her teeth. Mom took it as a no.
I was in my glory, I was talking my head off to Mom and the big shot baby sitter, my worse nightmare couldn't say a stinking word. I loved it.
Ten minutes went by and Mom asked again ," Can you feel the egg whites pulling on your skin"? A faint ya managed to work it's way out of her mouth as by this time the mask was pretty dry.

My Mother in her wisdom decided that if 10 minutes would do a good job then maybe 15 or 20 would do better so she decided to let my sister sit there longer with the concoction on her face.

It was sure dry. In about 18 minutes my sister was screaming through clinched teeth to get out of there. It seems the mask was feeling heavier and heavier and putting pressure on her nose and it felt as though she couldn't breath well. So off comes the mask. Only it didn't come off.

It was suppose to peel right off, but it didn't budge. Now this is where the revenge comes in. Even though I didn't cause the problem the first thing I thought of was, is this my revenge for all the times that you bossed me around? Good for you, you mean old thing, thank you Lord for getting back at her for all of the times when Mom wasn't home and she was mean to me. Or when she would tell Mom I lied when I said she was mean. You deserve it witch stay in there a while.

My Mom tried to peel the mask off at every angle but still nothing. At first I thought it was funny and I said things like do you want a chisel Mom. Do you want a hammer. Each time the reply was no and each time my sister would squeal in horror. My sister was trapped in a mask and I thought it was funny. I even giggled a little.

Then Mom grabbed a wash cloth and wet it and tried to rub it off and it still didn't come off.
The mask was hard as a rock. My Mother was shocked and my sister was in a state of panic. Didn't I see this same thing in a movie?

Now in times of trouble my sister and I were always there for each other no matter how much we thought we hated each other and suddenly it wasn't funny anymore.
I'm praying please God let her out of there. I'm sorry, I take it all back.

Mom starts tapping on the cement that is on my sisters face and she is screaming through grinding teeth that it hurts. A bell goes off in my head and I think that wash cloth had cold water on it, so I start screaming hot water Mommy. Hot compresses will soften it up.

Several applications of hot wash cloths did the trick. I was the hero and all my poor sister got for all of that trouble was to keep her acne and a very red sore face.

Moral of the story. Don't ever wish for revenge you may regret it and If your Mother finds a home remedy, RUN!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I JUST WANTED TO SAY......

There have been many, many times when I may have;

disturbed you

troubled you

pestered you

irritated you

bugged you

But today I just wanna tell you that...


I PLAN TO CONTINUE !!!!!!!


eXTReMe Tracker