Where have I been the last few years? In a bubble I think? It seems that sometime after I retired to do 'what I wanted to do', I somehow became the caretaker for everyone else's chores. And that's O.K. with me to a degree but I can't help wondering what is wrong with this picture.
I sometimes find that retiring can have it's drawbacks. It seems that family members who work seem to start depending on the fact that you have some free time and slowly begin to help you fill up that free time.
When I worked I didn't have anyone to run and pay my bills or wash my cloths, clean my house or make dinner or pick up the kids from school. If those things did not co-exist with my job then it was time to change jobs and I did.
So what is so different, so helpless, about the younger generation? Who by the way are not so young anymore.
In the process of helping, somewhere along the way I have become disorganized and overwhelmed with everything but the things that I want to do. In fact it seems that I don't do any of the things that I want to do, planned to do, or used to do. For someone who is retired it seems that I have no time for those things anymore.
Believe it or not this is not a complaint. This is an 'observation'. An observation of myself.
I like doing and helping and I will continue to do so, all I am saying is that somewhere along the way I lost track of me.
I lost sight of the 'I' in me and 'me' in I and the 'self' in my. I lost sight of who I am and what I want and in doing so I let go of all of those dreams. All of those feelings those urges and that exuberance of wanting to accomplish something of my own, for myself.
But how do I get those feelings back. That excitement, that creativity, seems to have died?
Then for some odd reason I decided to read my daily horoscope and this is what it said,
You're sharp as can be, handling all your tasks and commitments with a dancer's grace, so you may not feel overwhelmed or in need of any help. What you may not realize is that if you just put a few minutes into improving your organization, you could end up saving hours of time. Efficiency isn't boring -- it's the only thing holding you back from having a freer social calendar! Reprioritizing your tasks and sorting things out will put you in the lead.
Well of course, there is my answer or a part of it anyway, 'Organize and Prioritize'. Something I always did and had to do, to succeed when I was working.
Perhaps if I start there -- maybe the excitement of wanting to accomplishing something new in my life will come back and the I , me and my will find their way home to help me accomplish those long lost dreams.
But I digress--perhaps I am looking for a reason to blame others when I should place the blame upon myself. Perhaps I am unconsciously blaming others because I am afraid to complete my dreams, afraid of failure?? It's a possibility that I should not dismiss.
In any case it is time to find out and step number one will be to organize, prioritize and asses the situation.
By the way have you organized and prioritized lately?
Good advise, don't you think?