You meet someone new and you strike up a conversation. You run into them several times and talk. You develop and attraction for this person and the feeling is mutual. So you make the first move.
You begin to date. You become intimate , you are happy. You fall in love and you can't wait for those times when you can talk to each other, see each other, hold each other.
Isn't love grand! What's that expression-- Ah yes, it's like walking on cloud nine. It's like the whole world is invisible except for the two of you. The two of you, that's all that matters , that's all that counts. He is attentive and she is sweet, if only you could foresee the future.
After a period of time one of you begins to notice things about the other that you're not to happy about, your feeling hurt, but you sluff it off as just a bad day. Then another bad day and another.
You are not married, you are not engaged, you are only two adults dating but you begin to notice other traits that you don't like. Your dating partner becomes dominant, selfish and has no regaurd for your needs only theirs. It gets worse , but you still feel something for them until one day you finally reach your breaking point and you want out.
You try to be decent . You would like to end it , but as nicely as possible. You've had relationships before and so have they, so why not end it and still be able to be civil and polite if you should meet again. You've never had a problem before, you still run into old dating friends and each of you smile and say a few kind words, then each of you go on your way. So why should this be any different. Ya Think?
Ah, but this time it is different, the selfish person won't let go. Why sould they , you live far enough apart so that they can have their cake and eat it too. Oh come on, you know they cheat on you when your gone. You've seen the tell, tell signs, You just didn't want to admit it to yourself when you were still smitten .
You've gotten your tail in a crack , haven't you? They won't let go. No matter what you do, what you say, they just won't go away. They bother you everywhere. They talk as thow they never heard a word you said. They bother you at home, at work , with friends. You are sorry you ever met them. Hmmmmmmm-- sounds vagely familar, reminds me of a post on stalking that I just wrote awhile back.
What are you going to do??? Learn by this experience so that it will never happen again.
Rules for the one who wants out:
Rule #1. Attraction and sex are great but don't mistake it for love.
Rule #2. Don't promise or commet to anything in the beginning.
Rules# 3. All people have more then one side to their personality an intillectual side and a stupid side a silly, happy, sad and angry side. Get to know them all!!!! You may find out that a monster lurks from within.
Rule #5 If it isn't working out for the both of you -- It isn't working at all. Stop seeing them. End it. Politely?? Of course why not.
Rule #6 When all else fails -- Go for the throat. Be rude if you have to . Ignore. Go to court if you have to. But make them get it thru their head they must leave you alone.
Rules for the one who is being broken up with:
Rules # 1. It is never easy when you are the one that doesn't want out. But it has to be good for both or it will just get worse. So let go.
Rule#2. Keep your dignity, making a fool of yourself doesn't help a thing, and makes you look bad to others.
Rule # 3. If the ex. doesn't want to hear from you. Stop. Constantly wanting to explain something or giving your views on something from the past is just a way of keeping things going and in the end it doesn't work anyway. So when you feel like doing it refer to rule#2.
Rule # 4 If you can't let go , you're probably someone who is not independent. Learn to be independent( I don't mean work, I mean emotionally) that way you'll learn to be happy with or without a date.
Rule #5 Admit that it's over to yourself and get on with your life. There's millions of people in this world and if it didn't work out the ex. he/she wasn't the right one. Someone will turn up and be just right for you.
(Dedicated to a friend, with whom I have something in commen)